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Do you find yourself asking "Whose life is it anyway?" Parenting today has come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area--academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade our every moment and the need to be the best dominates--and undermines--our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowed child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear, comforting steps they prescribe to attack this rampant phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience.
- Sales Rank: #1418161 in Books
- Brand: St. Martin's Griffin
- Published on: 2001-04-07
- Released on: 2001-04-07
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .67" w x 5.50" l, .85 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
- Great product!
Amazon.com Review
If you've just sat down after a day that included taking your very intelligent child to a Kumon math tutoring session, shuttling another to soccer practice and piano lessons, supervising the homework of both to make sure it's perfect, and making a midnight trip to the grocery store to pick up the organic grapes for tomorrow's nutritionally balanced lunches, then Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? is for you. According to authors Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and Nicole Wise, there's a lot of this kind of hyper-parenting going on out there. This parenting style can be loosely defined as one that attempts to control everything in a child's environment with the aim of achieving a perfect outcome. It's not realistic or healthy, say the authors. Chapter by chapter, examining everything from parents' reliance on "expert" opinions to the huge impact of media messages on parent behavior, Rosenfeld and Wise make a compelling argument for their premise. They encourage parents to turn the lens inward and ask themselves what messages they are sending--not with their words, but with their behavior. Hyper-Parenting is a book for parents at every stage in the parenting game. It's never too late, or too early, to try to tune out some of the noisy clamor around us and thoughtfully reflect on our values and what we really want for our children. --Virginia Smyth
From Library Journal
In our society, where parents feel pressured to enroll children in preschool while they are still in utero, this book is a refreshing splash of cool water. In contrast to "winning above all else," Rosenfeld, a child psychiatrist, advocates "just playing" and just spending time with one's children rather than living the overbooked family life of a stereotypical soccer mom. He notes that family schedules are at a breaking point and that parents face a great deal of guilt and anxiety because they cannot give their children everything. He promotes the need for more balance and suggests that parents take to heart Dr. Spock's advice for parents to trust themselves. He further recommends abandoning the notion that parents' lives revolve solely around their children and revisits the concept of children being a part of the daily discourse of a family, where they learn a great deal more about living by having the opportunity to observe adults in an adult world. A wake-up call to parents everywhere; recommended without reservation for public libraries.
-Lisa Powell Williams, Moline P.L., IL
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
“An excellent book which should be read by every thinking parent. We don't have to over-schedule our children to help them succeed. Ironically, they are probably better off if we don't.” ―The Times (London)
“This book will convince today's overly stressed, harried parents--working too diligently but without joy or spontaneity--to stop striving for perfection and renew their faith in their own loving instincts.” ―Nancy Samalin, M.S., author of Loving Your Child is Not Enough and director and parent education or Parent Guidance Workshops in New York City
“[The Over-Scheduled Child] sends an urgently needed message to today's parents, who are constantly feeling pressured to achieve and who, in turn, are constantly pressuring their children to reach for more. It is a plea that parents everywhere should heed.” ―Lawrence Balter Ph.D, Professor of Applied Psychology, New York University and author of Who's in Control?: Dr. Balter's Guide to Discipline Without Combat
“A wonderfully informative and restorative read for all parents.” ―Kyle Pruett, M.D., author of Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child
Most helpful customer reviews
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
An excellent resource for overinvolved parents
By Galvatron
If you've fallen victim to seeing parenting as a competitive sport, you need to read this book. Rosen has nothing against Baby Mozart, soccer leagues, and all the other activities that parents and kids adopt for the best intentions. But he and his coauthor are reasonable voices, pointing out that by micromanaging our children's lives, we're giving them the message that they can neither function or make judgments without parental intervention. This is an excellent book that will help both parent and child.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Timely and important for today's overstressed parents
By A Customer
Dr. Rosenfeld and Nicole Wise remind us of what is really important and valuable in our lives. So many parents, in the process of pushing themselves and their children to win, succeed and outstrip the next guy, lose sight of what truly matters. The authors also remind us of the loss of joy and delight that parents deprive themselves of in the rat race to raise overscheduled and underappreciated kids. A highly readable book for parents which can help them lead more meaningful lives.
14 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
A Great Choice
By Puzzle Master
Hyper-Parenting is perhaps the best parenting book I have ever read. In a world full of opportunities and choices for our kids, its refreshing to get clear, helpful advice from experts who clearly understand what our children are going through. I found this book extremely well-written and useful, and would highly recommend it to any parent who loves his/her children and wants to do what's best.
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