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Plane Insanity: A Flight Attendant's Tales of Sex, Rage, and Queasiness at 30,000 Feet, by Elliott Hester
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You're belted into a middle seat with burly businessmen on either side. It's 92 degrees in the cabin and someone forgot to use deodorant. A baby screams. A kid kicks the back of your seat. After two hours you haven't even left the taxiway. Welcome to modern airline travel! In Plane Insanity, Elliott Hester delivers stories that could only come from someone who "rides tin" for a living-a flight attendant. You'll hear about:
* the passenger from hell
* a smuggled python
* prostitutes working the lavatories
* a riot in coach-class
* a heist
* the anatomy of a carryon bag
* a malodorous couple
* the Mile-High Club
* and more!
Fasten your seatbelts. After Plane Insanity, you'll never think of air travel the same way again.
- Sales Rank: #1437764 in Books
- Published on: 2002-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.68" h x 1.07" w x 5.56" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 236 pages
Amazon.com Review
It's hard to believe that the stories in Plane Insanity, the hilarious book by Elliott Hester, are true. But they are. Before you read even a single page, you know you're in for a wild ride just from the subtitle: A Flight Attendant's Tales of Sex, Rage, and Queasiness at 30,000 Feet. Hester has encountered just about everything in his 15 years of flying the skies or "riding tin," and he recounts these laugh-out-loud encounters with plenty of attitude and self-deprecating humor. Not to spoil the fun, but a few juicy tidbits include Hester as the hapless victim of a child's projectile vomit, chasing a sparrow around the cabin, mistakenly putting a woman on the wrong flight, and recalling the unfathomable account of an inebriated man defecating atop a liquor cart, to the horror of passengers and crew. Just when you think the stories can't get anymore outlandish he outdoes himself with the titillating antics of amorous couples who vie for membership in the infamous Mile High Club. And did our Mr. Hester himself ever become a member of this elite club? You'll have to read the book to find that out. Believe me, you'll be glad you did--this is the one of the year's funniest reads. --Jill Fergus
From Publishers Weekly
In his debut book of hilarious essays, syndicated columnist Hester expertly recounts "lowlights" from his 16-year career as a flight attendant for major U.S. airlines. Like an angrier, more street-wise Dave Barry, Hester zeroes in on bad trips, in-flight fighting, intolerable co-workers and airline procedures, broken airplanes, bad layovers and sex on airplanes (aka the "Mile High Club"). Addicted to "travel by whim," Hester isn't complaining "The ability to fly for next to nothing is the reason I took this job." He's just sharing: "I once saw a drunken couple puke on each other until they looked as if they'd emerged from a pool of oatmeal. I watched a smug-faced man receiving high altitude fellatio from a woman he'd just met on the flight," as well as "full-blown airplane brawls, passenger stampedes, a flight attendant in the midst of a nervous breakdown, passengers in various stages of undress, and stressed-out flyers attempting to open the emergency exit six miles above the Atlantic." These and other stories (an onboard robbery in which $500,000 was stolen on a 727) will be a revelation to anyone who has flown; Hester's careful, well-paced descriptions show that what happens behind the scenes is worse than one could imagine and that modern attendants take this craziness for granted. Hester also provides a wide assortment of various other true-life airline shenanigans taken from newspapers and wire service reports, which adds to his book's lurid charm. 7 b&w illus.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
Flyer beware: this book doesn't have many good things to say about the thrilling adventure that is air travel. The author, who switched from baggage handling to inflight service when it dawned on him that flight attendants didn't have to work outside in subzero weather, has pretty much seen 'em all: unruly passengers, sick passengers, amorous passengers, drunk passengers, nasty passengers, even flight attendants you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. Hester, who also writes a syndicated column ("Out of the Blue") and articles for various magazines, is a skillful raconteur, and no matter how bizarre or maddening the story, he tells it with grace and abundant good nature. Flight attendants, if this book is any indication, work in an environment that could make a war zone seem sedate, and we emerge from this comic horror show with a new respect and admiration for them. Fans of humorist Dave Barry or travel writer Bill Bryson should not miss this one. David Pitt
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
This is a fun read with a laugh now and then but I ...
By Charles C. Digbhy
This is a fun read with a laugh now and then but I felt it dragged just a bit now and then. It does prvidea good picture of the wacky situations airline Flight Attendants are faced with. Its is well worth the time to read and enjoy.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Fun read
By Deborah
I enjoyed reading this book very much the story's were fantastic and I wish that it was longer so I could keep reading more.I promise when I fly I'm very polite and will not cause any problems with any one
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Frequent laughing points
By J. Seigle
Hester streams out his funny (some funny only in the way that you say, "Someday we'll look back on this and laugh.") stories of serving travelers with, really, a laugh a minute. His style is just a litle overly cute, though, as he constantly peppers us with "clever" similes and metaphors, intead of letting the story do the talking (think of putting a cup of sugar on your morning cereal). But nonetheless, the stories are truly great, and this guy has experienced stuff that you just couldn't make up.
Don't look for inside dirt on his employer--either because of his professionalism or his lawyers' advice, he avoids mentioning airlines by name, even when they fire a flight attendant who drank large amounts of water (permitted) for allegedly watering down a drug-test urine sample (not permitted), with no proof and no independent confirmation.
Buy it and plow through it when you need a little light reading, or stories you can read in just a few minutes at a time.
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